There's a single table in a large pitch black room. On one side are four people all suddenly there for unknown reasons. The sound of rocking is heard from one chair.
???: WHY IN BLOODY FUCK AM I TIED TO A FUCKIN' CHAIR?!
???: I heard you were a wild one~ OHHohhhh--
???: Neseva shut yer bloody mouth!
Nes: (Light turns on over her.) Alright, sheesh, grouchy pants.
Grouchy Pants: Where the hell are we?
???: I believe this is an interrogation room.
Grouchy Pants: Who the fuck-
Nes: Er, who are you?
???: Lynn. (Light turns on over her.) Pleasure.
Nes: Oh, well hi! I'm Nes, this is Alice AKA Grouchy Pants.
Alice: (Light turns on over her.) Sod off, ya dit.
Lynn: Nice to meet you both, though I have no clue as to why I am meeting you.
Alice: Alright, we all be met then?
Nes: Naw, there's a dude here.
Dude Here: Oh, yeah, hi, I'm Sly. (Light turns on over him.) I just thought if I didn't say anything then maybe I can sneak away, but then it got interesting.
Alice: Oi, it's you.
Sly: Oh hey! It's Alice, nice to see you again. Love the hair.
Alice: Why don' we farst worry aboot why we're here rather than makin' friends...
Lynn: The angry one has a point, why are we here?
???: Well I'm glad you asked...
(Lights a single large light turns on from above them all, showing four people on one side, and w person on the other suddenly. The person leans forward ominously.)
???: Well well well.... Welcome one and all to the Interviews, I'm Nickyy and I'll be your devastating host.
Sly: Uuuuuuhhhh... Host for what? Yeah, no, I'd rather just sneak out now, this is a bit too much
Nickyy: Ah ah ah.. you leave this room and.. I dunno, I'll do something. But you park that happy ass right back down.
Nes: Damn son.
Lynn: So we are your hostages? What do you intend to do with us, Nickyy? Why are we here?
Nickyy: Excellent question. But let's turn on some mood music, shall we?
(A CD player appears on the table. Nickyy clicks play and a smooth song begins to play.)
Nickyy: Much better, now. I see you've all met each other. Let me introduce myself. Ahem, I....... am all of your mommy's'.
Nes: (Barks a laugh.) What kind of Black Mirror BS is this?!
Alice: Who let this loon in? An' what the hell with the music?
Sly: Mmmm... I feel like I'm going to get mugged, or somebodies dad is going to ask why I'm here on the eve of his daughter's wedding.
Nes: Dude, right?
Lynn: You both, enough. (Looks at Nickyy.) As in?
Nickyy: As in, I created all of you. Well, except you, Sly. You're another's property, but I love to write you regardless, anyway.
Sly: Wut.
Nickyy: I've brought you all here, in this magical room today, for us to all chit-chat and get a few things off our chest.
Nes: Wait, so like... you wrote yourself into your own story?
Nickyy: I mean.. I guess, sorta.
Nes: Dude, awesome. Hi, Space Mom.
Nickyy: Supp, my child. Now--
Alice: Hold up.. You, created all of us? 'Cept him.. So ya wrote all of our stories, the deaths, the tragedies?
Nickyy: Yeah, yeah I did. It builds character.
Alice: Aye, ya believe it? This block, heh, she says it builds fuckin' character? We mean so lil to ya that yer just--! (Attempts to free herself from the chair.) OH YA BLOODY C[beeeeep]! How fuckin' dare ya show yer face, ya [beep] [beep] [beep] [beeeeeep] maggot! After all ya did to me! What else have ya done to them, huh?!
Nes: Thaaat's why you're hogtied to the chair.
Alice: [Beeeeep].
Nickyy: That's right, let it aaaall out.
Lynn: (Purses her lips.) Is that why you brought us here, to announce that you are the reason for all of our woes?
Nickyy: Course not.
Nes: Liar.
Nickyy: I also just wanted to be a good mommy and let you all know why I made you.
Sly: You got bored one day and wanted to see what a devastatingly handsome raccoon, like myself, would be like being played?
Alice: Aye, sure, that's why she did it, fuckin' git.
Sly: Gasp. I don't recall you being this rude.
Alice: I wasn't tied to a bloody chair!
Sly: Fair.
Nickyy: Guyz, gais, please. Order in the room.
Lynn: I could kill you without lifting a finger.
Nickyy: Yes, but. But, you're intrigued, are you not? My badass demon to whom is my oldest character and longest running, my angry crazy hunter who I just drag through the dirt because it's so much fun.
Alice: Fuck you.
Nickyy: My newest spaztastic rainbow of a child--
Nes: --Omigee, I'm considered the rainbow? I'm so happy--
Nickyy: --to whom I will fuck up your world eventually. Don't worry, you'll hate me one day.
Nes: R-Right.... Good feelings gone.
Nickyy: And my little baby boy, Sly.
Sly: That's all I get? No, favorite child? Or, Your most precious gift to the world. Nothin'?
Nickyy: You must all wonder, why? Why I thrust so much torment and turmoil down upon my little children. Why am I so evil to the ones I build a working world for, hmm?
Sly: Lady, kinda creepin' me out.
Lynn: (Leans forward.) Explain then.
Nickyy: (Smirks.) Gladly. I'll answer all of those burning questions that you might ever have.... (Finger guns.) IN OUR NEXT INSTALLMENT OF THE INTERVIEWS!
Alice: Don' ya fuckin'--Let me oot this chair! I'll show ya just how much I love yer pumpkin latte smellin' ass! No wonder I like pumpkins!
Nickyy: Caaalm down, okay, it's just a few months from now, hang tight.
Sly: Wait, you're not just gonna leave us here!
Nickyy: Just imagine yourselves as a fish in a fishbowl and me who watches it all! Bye bye for now!
Alice: [Beeeeeeeep].
All the lights turn off and the scene closes.
To be continued...
Comments
All the sass in one blog. That's awesome.
Omgossh!! I snorted when I read "Hi, Space Mom." Lol Awesome!